On January 3, 2026, while most of the world was still hungover from New Year's, the United States military bombed Caracas, extracted President Nicolás Maduro in handcuffs, and flew him to New York to face narco‑terrorism charges. Five days later, the White House announced it would control Venezuelan oil sales "indefinitely" and decide how the proceeds get spent. Call it what it is: regime change as a subscription service.​